EternalSlurp

So I'm running. Ive been running for quite a while now, it calms me. Whenever mom and one of her jerk boyfriends is home I run. Just around the neighborhood once or twice. I like the feel of the pavement slapping against my sandals. Sandals arent very good to run in but I alwayys buy them to feel the -smack- on my feet. And feel it tingle and slowly dissapate through my body. It helps me know Im grounded, still in reality Because when I run, I dream. I dream Im not just Jane living in some dump of a town, with her crack head mother and her 'Boyfriend of the Day'. Im Janet, with hair like silver, skin like velvet, freckle

Dear Teacher, I have something to tell you. I find your handlebar mustache and bald head very attractive. I do not find math interesting at all. During all of class I fantasize about growing a handlebar mustache myself. I wish i could stroke it.                                    Best Wishes,                                                Mustache Admirer

Sometimes I think I love you. And then you open your fucking mouth. God almighty, do you think before you speak? One day I met you. I still regret it. I want my stuff back.                    Now. I think you smell really nice. You tell me it's the smell of conditioner. Lies.               Pure.                                   Lies.                But one thing I know is true is they They are With Someone Else. I like it when you smile. Yes, I am single and a little desperate. The desperation is what makes me a good kisser. I don't mind that you're a little creepy, as long as you killed anyone. Y'know, just so I can wake up

 I have a hobby and her name is Madeline. She is eleven years old and lives on West Avenue. Every day I wait behind the bushes near her school. I follow her, careful not to be seen. Her long orange curly hair flows, calling me to reach out and touch her. Madeline takes the usual route home. Oh, how I wish to be close to her.     I left a present on her doorstep last night. Her mother threw away a freshly dead finger I found in the garbage. I was quite angry; it took me all night to find it. I sung outside Madeline's window, asking for her love. The neighbor then proceeded to try and hurt me with a shovel.                              Love

I used to be young and stupid. Now I'm just stupid.

On my way to school this morning, I was late. Mom leaves for work before I wake up and  I forgot to turn on my alarm clock. I felt like I forgot something important. When I bent over to tie my shoe outside, I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye. It was a tiny little red speck. Then, as it got closer I realized something. It was a garden gnome. Now I'm not the most intelligent of people in the world. I got held back in Kindergarten for "behavioral issues," but I know for a fact, that garden gnomes do not move. They also do not try to hide behind bushes in a feeble attempt at camouflage. In all my twelve years of life I have never

Bertha and I  have been stuck together for the past forty years. Now, by stuck together I mean, I knocked her up when I was 18 and she was 16. Bertha doesn't believe in marriage. " I don't need the state of New York to tell me I can legally piss you off. I can do that just fine without a certificate." But I, Michael Jefferson being the God fearing man that I am, married her. Now I remember why I am an atheist. Marriage has times of give and take. When I wanted to buy a new car, I kept the money for the kids' college. When she wanted new shoes I bought new shoes for her. If Billy got caught getting slinky with the neighbors' whore of a daugh

My brother and I are polar opposites even though we are identical twins. People describe me as 'unemotional', 'heartless', 'that weird guy'. I prefer introverted. Others would say my brother is 'shy', 'extremely caring', or 'a total priss' I agree with the last statement. Mr Winston is a great example. A year ago, our first year in college, we were renting our rooms from a nice elderly couple. We returned from spring break to find Mr. Winston dead, with our cat eating his face off. Charles burst into tears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh God, why, wy did this happen!?!" Nonchalantly, I stare at the mangled creature. "Well this was going to h