literature

Oprah is cancelled

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Literature Text

My brother and I are polar opposites even though we are identical twins. People describe me as 'unemotional', 'heartless', 'that weird guy'. I prefer introverted. Others would say my brother is 'shy', 'extremely caring', or 'a total priss' I agree with the last statement. Mr Winston is a great example.

A year ago, our first year in college, we were renting our rooms from a nice elderly couple. We returned from spring break to find Mr. Winston dead, with our cat eating his face off. Charles burst into tears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh God, why, wy did this happen!?!" Nonchalantly, I stare at the mangled creature. "Well this was going to happen sooner or later," I told Charles. " I hated that fat old fucker anyway." Suddenly his sobbing stopped. "How...", Charles sniffled, "how could you be such a horrible bleep. I know you have problems being expressive James, but this is going too far!" Ugh. Even now he refuses to swear. The worst I've ever heard him say is 'duh'. "I don't care what you think. We should bury his body in the backyard. The smell is horrendous." "THE SMELL," screamed Charles. "Mr.Winston has his face eaten while he's dead, and all you can think about is how he SMELLS!?"

"I know I should have bought some Febreeze on our grocery stop before coming home." He bursts into tears again. "Mr. Winston was a member of our family, and now he's gone. He deserves a proper burial." I began to unpack the food and make a mental note to buy some Febreeze when the front door opened.

"Sweet baby Jesus, what's that smeel?" It seems the owners had arrived home, to find Mr. Winston decapitated. "oh bloody hell", whispered Mrs. Jones. "The dog died. Where's its' face?" "Good thing it's gone", said Mr. Jones.
"I hate that fat old fucker anyway."

Charles says the only time I've smiled that big was when they cancelled The Oprah Winfrey Show.
I wanted a story with an emotional and unemotional person.
I have nothing against Oprah.
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